Movie review: 'Machete' is a slice above your typical action movie

Rating: 4 out of 5 Stars

Detroit Movie Examiner rates this: 4 out of 5 stars

Genre:  Action/Adventure, Dark Comedy

Rated R

Opens: Friday, September 3rd, 2010

Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jeff Fahey, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal, Cheech Marin
Directed by Ethan Maniquis & Robert Rodriguez (Grindhouse, Sin City, Spy Kids, Desperado)
Run Time 1 hour 45 minutes

It's a fairly simple divide between who will like "Machete" and who will not:  If you are sensitive in any way to violence, controversy, religion, or mindless mayhem, please stay away.  For everyone else, "Machete" is some of the most absurd fun you'll have at the movies this summer.

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"Machete" is an over-the-top, tongue-in-cheek, cheese-fest, hiding in the guise of a serious revenge-action movie.  You may not realize that "Machete" the movie is actually based on a fake movie trailer that pre-ceded "Grindhouse", the 2007 film by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez that paid tribute to the 1970s-era exploitation films.
The Plot...as if it matters.  Danny Trejo is Machete, a Mexican Federale who finds himself roaming the streets of Texas after nearly being killed by a powerful drug lord.  He is hired to make a hit on a wily senator (De Niro), but when he is double-crossed, he is forced to go on the run.  But this is Machete, and he is legend.  He tracks down his double-crossers leaving a massive trail of blood, bullets, and gore in his wake.
Cheese-tastic.  "Machete" is a comedy in the way that "Pulp Fiction" is a comedy...You find yourself laughing out-loud at things that simultaneously make you cringe and shake your head.  Pulp Fiction though, is set in some form of reality...."Machete" is pure testosterone fantasy.  The movie's plot is irrelevant, it exists only as an excuse to give Machete more people to fight and maim.  At the same time though, it takes itself very seriously, which is what makes it work.  Cheesy movies are bad...Cheesy movies that know that they are cheesy and play into that fact can be quite entertaining.
You've been warned.  Faint of heart be warned though:  this movie is not for you.  It is massively bloody and violent, in some scenes very realistic violence, and in other scenes the kind of cartoon violence you'd find in a movie like "Kill Bill."  Looking for an example of this?  How bout a scene in a hospital, when a doctor explains to Machete that the human intestines can be up to 60 feet long.  Moments later, Machete uses this knowledge, by slicing open a bad guy, grabbing his intestines, and then using them as a rope to swing out of a window to a lower level of the hospital to avoid danger.  If that description made you go: "ew, gross", or "that is not possible", then you should definitely skip Machete.  If it made you say: "He did what???" or made you chuckle at it's absurdity, run, don't walk to the theater.
Great Cast.  Aside from the very funny situations we find Machete in, the movie is helped along with a surprisingly strong cast, full of great actors hamming it up.  There are even a few surprises...actors and actresses that show up that make the movie even more ridiculous.  I wouldn't dare spoil the fun.
Great Director.  Robert Rodriguez is one of the more talented filmmakers working today, and clearly one of the few that appears to be having a riot while working.  His films are fun.  From Spy Kids, to Desperado, to Machete, there is a child-like enthusiasm infused on-screen.  He is also not afraid to tackle some controversy.  How about Cheech Marin seen on a crucifix, a gun-wielding, pot-smoking priest?  There's jokes dealing with incest too.  Nope, I wouldn't call "Machete" a family film by any stretch.
I laughed, I cried, I cringed...in a good way.  "Machete" was a true surprise, a movie I thought I may have liked, but liked even more.  As crazy at it is, it is also refreshing.  Trejo's Machete may be the baddest character in film history.  As the main hero and title character, he doesn't have many lines.  Other characters don't always do what you expect.  The final scene?  Without giving anything vital away, how about the main bad guy basically throwing in the towel.  "Even if I kill you, you'll just be waiting for me in hell," he says.
The very end teases a Machete trilogy, with parts 2 and 3 respectively called "Machete Kills" and "Machete Kills Again."  These are fake, I assume...but isn't that what started all of this in the first place?  Don't be surprised if these movies get made if "Machete" is as popular as I fear it may be.